This book review of Dara Hoffman-Fox’s You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery provides details about the themes the book explores and my thoughts on how the book goes about doing so.

The book is a workbook. It is great for actively and experientially exploring gender identity because it includes lists, checkboxes, and lines for writing responses.

You and Your Gender Identity Is a Great Book for Those Questioning Their Gender Identity

The book helps the reader explore what they are and aren’t comfortable with regarding their gender identity assigned at birth, but overall it feels most helpful for people already questioning their gender identity.

I had mistakenly thought the book would be helpful for anyone to explore their relationship to their gender identity. For example, I thought it might help explore how much or how little one identifies with the gender identity they were assigned at birth or how much one experiences what is typically called masculine and feminine energies. However, I found that it is more geared towards people who are already questioning their gender identity.

For context, I am a cisgender woman who does not experience dysphoria about my gender but also does not feel particularly strongly about identifying with stereotypical feminine traits.

Things I Like About the Book in General

Here are some of the things I appreciate about You and Your Gender Identity:

• Hoffman-Fox (they/them) is very non-judgmental, personable, and open to feedback.
• The book provides common terminology for gender identity while emphasizing that terminology and labels are flexible. Hoffman-Fox discusses the pros and cons to labels. They encourage people to choose what works for them and when it works for them. They emphasize that one can always change their mind about how they identify.
• Gender is viewed as a spectrum instead of binary.
• Gender stereotypes are explored.
• Self-care is encouraged, including a list of common ways to practice it and space to personalize the list. There are reminders at the start and end of each chapter to practice it. Hoffman-Fox emphasizes that self-care is something one does to recuperate as opposed to escaping or avoiding.
• Guilt and shame are explored.
• Information is provided on seeking support, both in person and online.
• Ideas are provided for ways to explore one’s gender identity and expression (e.g. privately, publicly, physically, and socially).
• Hoffman-Fox emphasizes that there doesn’t need to be dysphoria or discomfort for someone to prove that they are trans.

Things I Especially Like About the Book from A Drama Therapist’s Perspective

As a drama therapist, I always appreciate books that that use metaphors, stories, and roles for healing purposes. This book does so in the following ways:

• Encourages the reader to see themselves as a character on a journey of self-discovery, very similar to Joseph Campbell’s “The Hero’s Journey”.
• Emphasizes that gender identity is one of many roles we all play, not the only one we play.
• Explores fears through metaphors of a trunk in the ocean and of unwanted guests that one needs to get to know in order to understand how to best deal with them.
• Helps the reader identify protective roles they have (e.g. “the Bodyguard” and “the Thinking Brain”).
• Helps the reader identify supportive roles others play or can play in their life (e.g. mentor, cheerleader, and listener).
• Provides ideas on how to use past/child selves and present selves to tap into intuition.

Further Resources by Dara Hoffman-Fox

Hoffman-Fox has a few additional resources besides this book for support regarding gender identity:

• Dara Hoffman-Fox (website)
• Conversations with a Gender Therapist (YouTube channel)
• Conversations with a Gender Therapist (Facebook page)

Contact Me for Gender Identity Support

Feel free to contact me for therapy if you’re in Reisterstown or other parts of Maryland and want support around gender identity issues.

You may also contact me for coaching around gender identity issues if you reside in other states.